When Overthinking Meets Social Anxiety: A Waitress’s Struggle

Every day, I step into the restaurant, ready to face the bustle and noise that fills the air. As a waitress, I should feel excited about serving guests and creating a positive experience. Yet, as I approach each table, a wave of anxiety washes over me. It feels less like a job and more like a battlefield — both against the expectations of others and the chaotic thoughts swirling in my mind.

The moment I walk in, I’m faced with a flurry of tasks: take orders, deliver drinks, handle complaints, and ensure everything runs smoothly. It’s a lot to juggle, especially when people constantly change their minds about what they want. “Can I swap this garnish?” “I don’t like this dish; can I change it?” Each request chips away at my mental focus.

As I strive to maintain a cheerful demeanor, I find that overthinking often hijacks my mind. I go from one table to another, smiling and trying to crack jokes, hoping to connect with my guests. But sometimes, an interaction can send me spiraling. I remember one particular table where I made a joke, and one lady seemed to warm up to me. That should have been a win. Instead, it turned into an episode of intense discomfort.

With each glance in her direction, my thoughts spiraled. I became fixated on her, worrying that I needed to keep impressing her or she might change her mind about me. “What if she thinks I’m not nice enough?” “What if she doesn’t laugh at my next joke?” All this pushed the other pressing matters aside. I was surrounded by other tables needing my attention, but all I could think about was how to maintain this polite, funny character.

My mind raced, constantly replaying interactions, fearing missteps. By the time my shift ended, I was exhausted. The mental weight of my overthinking lingered long after the restaurant closed its doors each night.

The consequences of this struggle are clear: I often forget orders, rush between tables without a clear plan, and constantly feel the pressure of making sure no one feels neglected. The fear of complaints looms over me like a dark cloud, pushing me to an edge where just getting through the night feels like a battle.

Yet, I can’t escape the cycle. Many of my guests are regulars, and each visit requires me to don that mask again — the cheerful, accommodating waitress. It’s a constant performance that becomes harder with each passing day. I find myself wishing for a moment of authenticity, a sweet space where I could simply be myself without the fear of judgment.

The truth is, I like my job and want to connect with people. But overthinking and social anxiety morph this simple desire into an exhausting ordeal. Every smile feels like a burden, every joke a potential misstep.

It seems like the thought that is the least important to the job somehow becomes the number one issue. This phenomenon often occurs in various settings, where minor details or overlooked aspects unexpectedly dominate our attention and resources. It highlights the complexities of prioritization and how sometimes our focus can shift in unexpected ways, leading to challenges in efficiency and task management. It’s essential to stay aware of these dynamics to maintain a balanced perspective on what truly matters in any given situation.

If you can relate to this experience, know you’re not alone. We are all trying to balance our authentic selves with the expectations around us.