Acknowledging My Dream

For 25 years, I’ve had this dream of writing and creating movies and TV shows, yet it took me all this time to admit it to myself—not even to my parents, friends, or boyfriend. It feels like a secret wish that, if expressed, might ruin my relationships or change how people perceive me. I worry that if I tell them, they’ll think I’m crazy or delusional.

How do I explain that I wake up, go through my day, and then go to sleep, all while thinking about scenes, settings, and the perfect music to evoke emotions?

Throughout my life, I’ve been told I’m too sensitive, and that’s true. I either feel too much or nothing at all. So, is it wrong for me to use that sensitivity? To share my emotions with others and help them feel as intensely as I do? I believe everyone has a purpose aligned with their abilities. Some are born to be saviors, like doctors; some are leaders; others are nurturers. Perhaps my purpose is to be an entertainer, a thought provoker, or a seeker of connection.

It’s remarkable how we can connect with people globally in such a deep way, without knowing each other’s faces. I love the idea of being vulnerable and showing my true self while protected by anonymity. Though I’ve often felt lonely, my mind is a lively jungle of ideas and projects. I want to release these ideas, one at a time, to reach others who feel trapped in their minds, like captors who find a sense of peace in their solitude.

Now, I know what I want to do, and I will pursue it no matter what. When I reach my deathbed, I don’t want to be filled with regret for not trying. Instead, I want to be proud of myself for taking the leap and embracing my creative journey, even if i don’t succeed.